


The Hidden Nephilim

by Wendijok



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:43:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wendijok/pseuds/Wendijok
Summary: You are the daughter of the archangel Gabriel. He has kept you hidden for 25 years, but his secret is about to be discovered, putting you in a whole new level of danger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not quite sure where this story is going, but it won’t let me stop thinking about it, so I guess we will all find out together!

Chapter One

He was coming back. Of course he was coming back. 

He left Sam and Cas with desperate expressions, and pleas for help lingering on their lips. 

But he had no intention of walking away from the upcoming battle. He just needed them to THINK he did. 

He needed them to not look for him. At least for a little while. At least until he found you and knew you were safe. 

He followed his instincts, it had been so long, but he could still feel you. Barely. 

He ended up outside Portland in front of what looked like a really shady bar. 

He closed his eyes. What in the world were you doing in a place like this?? It made no sense. 

The last time he saw you, you were thriving. Living with a good family, going to school, all the things a good 17 year old should be doing. 

Of course that was eight years ago. A lot can happen in that amount of time. 

No one knew that better than Gabriel. 

It wasn’t completely quiet outside, the low thrums of whatever music was being played inside the bar, and the sounds of voices and laughter. 

But he still heard it. Over all the other noises, he heard it. 

A grunt, a low painful moan, and sounds of what was obviously a fight happening somewhere behind the building. 

Gabe moved quickly, and came around the corner just in time to see you plunge a dagger into a man’s stomach. 

He couldn’t help but wince when he saw the familiar flash of light before the guy fell to the ground. A demon. 

“Angel, what are you doing?” The words slipped quietly from his lips, but you still heard the voice that came from behind you. 

At first you didn’t move, preparing yourself for another attack. But that voice... it was so familiar. And there was only one person in the world that ever called you “Angel”.

You turn slowly, not at all prepared for what now stands in front of you. 

“Who..... or what are you? What do you want from me?” You hate that your voice trembles, so you raise the dagger trying to appear more intimidating than you felt. 

Gabe raises his hands, and takes a good look at you. Jeans, a leather jacket, your hair pulled up in a ponytail. 

You looked just like...her. His eyes couldn’t help but fill with tears, and his heart broke all over again. 

He took a careful step forward, trying to get just a little closer so you could get a good look at him. “It’s me Angel, I promise. It’s really me.”

You shook your head adamantly. “Stop calling me that. NO ONE gets to call me that.” Tears filled your eyes as well now. Tears of anger. You had no idea who this guy was, but appearing here looking like... him. That was crossing the line. 

“You’re dead. You can’t be here.” Your voice shakes. It really does look like the man you remember from all those years ago. 

He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Like it’s an average Wednesday, and not the day he came back from the dead. 

Gabriel opens his mouth to speak again but pauses at the distinct sound of more demons heading to the scene from behind you. 

You turn, but turn back quickly. Unsure as to which threat is more of an immediate danger. 

Two men and a woman move toward you, and seeing their deceased friend on the ground, only increases the speed at which they approach. 

You raise the dagger, preparing for whatever is about to happen, but flinch at the sensation of a hand on your shoulder. 

“Sorry guys, but I am really not in the mood for this shit.” He raises the hand that’s not holding onto you and snaps his fingers. 

All three demons disintegrate before your eyes into a pile of dust. 

You turn slowly, and look up into his face. You REALLY look. Only one type of being in existence can get rid of demons that easily. 

An Archangel. 

“It’s me sugar, I promise.” He places his hands softly on your face, wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb. 

Your voice cracks, as you ask simply, “daddy?”


	2. Chapter 2

25 years earlier.....

Gabriel appeared in the middle of the hallway in a hospital. He didn’t even care who saw, he just ran. 

He could hear her calling for a while, but when Dad calls you home, you go. 

This time though, this was different. She wasn’t just calling him. She was screaming for him. 

He left without saying a word to his Father. 

Shouts of “sir you can’t go back there!” And “someone call security!” Rang out from behind him, but he just kept going. 

He had to get to her. His Angel. His lifeline on earth. 

He burst into an operating room, and lurched to a stop at the sight before him. 

She laid on a table, she was pale and covered in blood. And he made a loud choking noise as he watched a nurse lay a baby on her chest. 

A baby. 

“Sir, you can’t be in here.” A nurse put a hand on his arm, and a doctor glared at him. 

“But.. but she’s. Mine.” He could barely get the words out. 

“Gabe?” Her voice was soft, too soft. He pushed the nurse aside and strode across the room to her. 

“I’ve been calling you.” She gasped, barely able to breathe. 

“I know Angel, I’m so sorry. I’m here now, I’m here.” He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. 

It was too cold. She was so cold. 

“Look what we did.” She whispered, looking down at the baby that was clutched to her chest. “I love you Gabe, take care of her.”

“No no no no, baby stay with me.” Gabriel reached out to put his hands on her to heal her. 

Suddenly her arms went slack, and the monitors that surrounded her started going crazy. 

Gabriel caught the baby in his arms, and in stunned silence was pushed backwards by a team of medical personnel. 

They surrounded her, but didn’t do all the things you see in the movies or on tv. They just slowly started to unhook her. 

“Wait!” He shouted. “I can fix her, wait!” He moved forward, but one of the nurses put a hand on his arm. 

“I’m sorry honey. She’s gone, after all that just happened I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did.”

“No. No, this can’t be happening. I was only gone a few months. That’s it! This is all a mistake.” The mighty Archangel found himself trying to bargain with a nurse as he watched a sheet being placed over the head of the woman he loved more than anything. 

The tiny woman stood in front of him. “Now you listen to me. I am so sorry we couldn’t save her, this whole thing has been.... strange. But, that little girl you’re holding? She’s the most beautiful sweet thing I have ever laid my eyes on, and SHE needs you.”

Gabriel looked down at you, as if he only suddenly remembered that you existed. You yawned and made a tiny squeak of a noise, and that was it. He knew right then, the rest of his existence was going to be dedicated to keeping you happy, and safe. 

But first... he snapped his fingers and everyone in the room froze in place. He walked over to where your mother’s body laid, and rested you carefully on her chest. 

He spoke quietly to the room, but with enough power that the entire hospital heard. “None of this happened.” 

His voice cracked, and tears ran down his cheeks as he looked down at you sleeping soundly on your mother’s cold chest. “None of us were ever here, and today has been a boring average day.”

He lifted her into his arms, being careful to make sure you were safe cradled between them both. 

He snapped again, and then vanished. 

As he approached his Father, Chuck rose to his feet. 

“Gabriel? What’s happened?”

Gabe’s eye lit up with fire. “Did you know?”

Chuck shook his head, “did I know what? Gabriel who is this? Is that a baby?”

“It sure is Pop.” Gabe chuckled darkly through the sobs rising in his throat. “Is that why you called me home? You knew she was pregnant and didn’t want me to find out?”

Chuck moved slowly toward him, “Son, I..”

“I SAID, DID. YOU. KNOW?”

“No! Gabe, I had no idea.” Chuck looked to his right at the angels closest to where he was standing. “Don’t just stand there! Take her, and the baby, help my son!”

“No!” Gabriel shouted. “Just stay away from us. You’re not taking them anywhere.” He sank to his knees and sobbed. 

“Son,” Chuck crouched next to him. “Let them help. They can clean her up, and make sure the baby is healthy and safe. We can talk while they do that, and then I promise you’ll get them back.”

Gabriel looked into his Father’s face and saw his own pain mirrored back at him. He really hadn’t known any of this was happening. 

He slowly nodded, and two angels carefully moved toward him. One gently lifted the baby, and the other stood silently for a moment as Gabriel ran his hand through your mother’s hair and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I love you. I promise I’ll keep her safe.” He whispered before nodding his assent at the man the stood in front of him. 

“Oh, by the way,” he added and both angels stopped and looked at him. He made eye contact with the one holding you. His daughter. 

“If you don’t bring her back to me within ten minutes, I’ll kill you.”

The angel’s eyes widened in shock and fear, but she nodded and rushed from the room. 

Chuck sat on the floor next to his son. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I have let my own distractions keep me from protecting my own children. I failed you Gabriel. And I’m not sure what to do.”

Gabe snorted, “you’re not sure what to do. If God doesn’t know what to do, then how the hell am I supposed to figure it out? Pun intended.” 

“How much do you know about Nephilims?”

Gabe shrugged, “not enough considering what I’m facing.”

Chuck nodded. “Well, they grow quickly. Very quickly. And, they are incredibly powerful. Which makes them dangerous if they land in the wrong hands.”

“And whose hands are the wrong hands Dad?” Gabe looked up into his Father’s eyes. 

“Gabriel, son, you can’t keep her. I know this is going to be the most difficult decision you’ll ever make. But you have to let her go. She will never be safe if demons find out who and what she is.”

“I just lost the only thing in the world that mattered to me. And now, you’re going to take away the tiny sliver of hope I have left?” Gabriel got to his feet. 

“No, you can’t take her. Humans can’t raise a Nephilim, they won’t know how to protect her like I can.”

“But don’t you see Gabe, that is exactly my point!” 

Gabriel strode away from his Father toward the door that his daughter left through. 

“They will track her down. Easily if you’re the one raising her. Let me help you son, it’s the least I can do.”

Gabe chuckled at that, and reached out as the angel carrying you came back in and placed you in his arms. 

“How? What do we do?” He couldn’t take his eyes off you, and you met his gaze as if you understood everything being said. 

“I can protect her. I can hide her true nature, put up a wall if you will, between her human side and her angelic side. She can be raised as a human, and not know the difference until she is old enough to make the decision for herself.”

Tears ran down Gabriel’s cheeks again. He leaned down and kissed you softly on the cheek, rubbing his nose along your face. “How can I love someone so much, that I just met. Please tell me what to do here little one.” He whispered. 

And then he heard your mother’s voice in his head. He knew it was her message, but he also know you were the one sending it . “Protect her Gabe. Keep her safe, no matter what.”

He nodded. And looked into your eyes. “Okay Angel. But I need you to know this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Like ever. And I will never leave you, do you understand? You will hold my heart forever.” Your bright eyes held his gaze. You understood. He knew it. 

He then looked back at his Father. “What do we do now?”


	3. Chapter 3

You were placed with a couple in Seattle. 

They knew Gabriel was your birth father, but knew him only as “Daniel”. 

You were happy. You led what you thought, was a very normal life. 

Two loving parents, and a connection to your birth father, whom you saw once a year. On your birthday. 

It was the year after you turned 13 that things started to get a little.... strange. 

You were getting distracted at school. The teachers told your parents you had focus issues, and maybe needed medication. 

You were terrified to tell them the actual truth. You had started hearing voices. 

It began as a low hum, like a radio between stations. Within a few months you were hearing actual words, and they were terrifying. 

“He’s gone.”

“What do you mean he’s gone? God can’t just leave!”

“Where would he go?”

“Where do we look?”

And two weeks before your birthday the scariest one of all. 

“They’re trying to open the gate. If they succeed all of the demons from hell will be released. Humanity will fall.”

You went to your mother first. “Mom, I think I’m... going crazy.”

Your mother turned from making her bed, and gave you a strange look. “Why would you say such a thing?”

You feel the fear roll off of her. You’d always been able to sense others emotions, that wasn’t new. But now you feel how afraid she is that maybe you’re right. 

Maybe there is something wrong with you. 

“I thought maybe I was hearing things. Voices maybe? But I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably just my imagination.” You didn’t want her to worry. You hated it when she worried. 

You watched as she bit her lower lip. A trait you may not have inherited, but you definitely adopted. 

She came toward you and hugged you tightly, “I’m sure you’re right. It’s probably nothing, but if you start feeling more uncomfortable let’s get you to a doctor. That sound okay?”

You nod, giving her a half smile. “Thanks mom.”

But you know she how scared she is feeling. And you are proven correct by a conversation you overhear between her and your father later that same day. 

“She says she’s hearing voices John. Something isn’t right. First her teacher and now this? I’m scared. What if something really is wrong with her?”

Her father spoke quietly, “let’s not over react. It might be nothing, Daniel told us she was special. I mean you’ve seen what she can do, predict your feelings, hell she can even tell what I’m thinking sometimes. Maybe this is related to that.”

“Maybe. I guess we talk to Daniel when he comes for her birthday?”

“Exactly, maybe he will know something helpful. But until then, she’s fine! And if you believe it, so will she.”

You turn and lay your back up against the wall. Your parents know what you can do. You had tried so hard to keep it a secret. Even your birth dad knows. 

Of course you knew that. There were... gaps, in his feelings when he was around you. As if he was able to sensor what you felt from him. Especially when you asked about your mother. 

Your real mother. Daniel didn’t like talking about her, it made him so sad. He missed her so much, and sometimes you felt like a guilty reminder of her absence. 

But he didn’t like it when you even gave the implication you feel this way. 

“I love you more than anything in existence Angel. Never forget that.” Followed by him holding you tightly in his arms like he never wanted to let you go. 

He said that often. And you liked the way it sounded. Not “love you more than anyone”, but “anything in existence”. And you knew he meant it. You felt it overwhelmingly every time you were in his presence. 

But there was still that something else.... Something he wasn’t telling you, and it was time to confront him and find out what it was. 

“Happy birthday Angel.” 

You opened your eyes, the sun was barely rising, and there he was standing in the doorway of your room. 

“Daddy, you’re here!” You jumped from your bed and threw yourself into his arms. 

He lifted you from the ground, peppering the top of your head with kisses. “Ah I’ve missed you sugar.”

“Then maybe you should visit more often.” You say, your voice muffled as your face is buried in his chest. 

You feel it quickly, but he squashes it before you can place exactly what it is. It was a strange combination of guilt, and what felt like... fear.

“We need to talk about it dad.” You lift your chin to see his face, and he looks up at the ceiling, not meeting your gaze. 

“Daddy, things are weird, and I’m scared there is something wrong with me, and my mom and dad are talking about doctors and...”

He looked down at you, his golden eyes seeing right into your soul. “There is NOTHING wrong with you. Do you understand me?” He placed his hands on your face. 

“You are perfect, and special, and gifted..”

“AND BROKEN!” You exclaim. “I’m hearing things dad. Voices. Strange and scary voices, talking about God, demons and the end of humanity...”

At this point his face and the thought barrier he kept up between you crumbled. “You hear them. The Angels. He’s gone now and the wall... it’s coming down.” He said it more to himself than you. 

And then he closed his eyes and whispered, “Father what do I do now.”

He waited a moment, and looked back down at you. “Nothing but silence Angel. I guess it’s up to me now.”

And so he told you everything. From the beginning to the end. And you believed every word he said because every fiber of you KNEW it was true. 

“So the voices I’m hearing?”

“Yeah, we call that Angel Radio, it’s how the angels all communicate. I’m guessing it’s because you’re half me, and also the empathic/telepathic abilities I insisted my Father let you keep. And now that he’s gone, well the filters he kept in place are disappearing.”

He took your hand, “I can put that wall back up for you. So you can’t hear them anymore. Would you like that?”

You nodded, “yes please. It is distracting and scary.”

He placed his hands on either side of your head and a slight glow illuminated from them above you. The voices fell silent, and for the first time in a couple of weeks it was completely quiet. 

“Thank you.” You felt your body sag a bit and realized how tense you had really been. 

“Of course kid.” He pulled you into his side and kissed your temple. 

“Do my parents know?” You asked, “like, I know they don’t know everything. But how much do they know?”

He shook his head, “they know very little. And we need to keep it that way sugar. If they know too much it puts all of you in danger. Do you understand?”

You nodded. “I understand.” And you did. And you didn’t. 

Because you knew there was so much more that he wasn’t telling you. And you could feel his fear, he didn’t hide it anymore. It was as if he wanted.. no needed, you to feel how dangerous all of this could really be. 

So you stopped asking questions and just lived. You tried to keep your life as normal as possible. And for a few years, it worked. 

And then you turned 17. And your father didn’t show up on your birthday. You were scared and sad, and your parents did their best to track him down, but you knew that was impossible. 

And so after two weeks of nothing you tried something you had never tried before, you prayed. 

“Daddy?” All was quiet. Tears welled in your eyes. Something was wrong, you knew it. 

“Gabriel I need you. Where did you go?” You said it loud, and with authority. 

And there he was. He leaned against the door frame for support. He looked completely exhausted. “Hey Angel. Sorry I missed your birthday.” 

“Dad, are you okay?” You rush toward him, forgetting your anger as relief takes its place. 

He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. He didn’t say anything just held you tightly, resting his chin where his kiss landed moments before. 

And then you feel it. He’s trying to keep it from you, but his sadness and overwhelming fear seep into your soul and tears start to fall from your eyes. Tears that aren’t yours, not really. 

“Daddy?” You say again softly trying to look up at him. 

He takes a deep breath, “sit down sugar. We need to talk.

You nod and move to sit on the edge of your bed. His emotions are all over the place. You’ve never felt him this conflicted before. 

“There’s. Well, there’s some trouble.” He knelt on one knee in front of you taking your much smaller hands in his. 

“What kind of trouble?” Your tears still run down your cheeks. 

He gives you a sad small smile and wipes them with his thumb. “Well, one of my brothers is causing a bit of a ruckus.”

You raise an eyebrow, a trait you definitely learned from him. 

“Okay, it’s a bit more than a ruckus. It’s more like... an apocalypse?”

Your heart hammered in your chest, and he saw the distress written all over your face. 

“Don’t panic Angel, please don’t be afraid. Your dad is going to take care of it.”

You chuckle darkly, “it would be much easier not to panic, if I couldn’t feel how much YOU are panicking.”

He lowered his gaze. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m a little too distracted to keep those feelings from you.”

“When will you be back?” It was then that you knew why he was here. 

You jumped to your feet, “no. You can’t sacrifice yourself. I need you!” You were desperate. “What happens if you don’t come back? What about my abilities? Will the wall come down? How will I learn to control it?!”

“Slow down baby.” He said softly, pulling you back into his arms. “I need you to listen very closely to me.” He took your face in his hands. 

“Go to school tomorrow. And the next day. Graduate in a month, have an amazing summer vacation, go to college and know that I love you and that everything will be taken care of.”

You didn’t believe a word he was saying. But the word that stuck out to you was “listen”. So you did something you had tried and failed to do in the past, but to be fair, you never had this kind of motivation. 

You reached over your wall, into his head to hear what he was thinking. 

It was the hum you’d heard in the past, but you pushed through it and starting hearing a few phrases. 

“Freaking Winchesters.” Was the first one. 

“How am I going to survive this?”

“Stupid Sam and Dean and their damn heroic nobility.”

“She’ll be better off without me.”

“STOP!” You yell. “I will not be better off, please daddy I’m begging you, don’t do this.”

“Hey there champ, stay out of your old dad’s head will ya?”

You lowered your gaze. “Sorry.” 

“I need you to understand that being what you are has never been more dangerous than it is right now. You must promise me. I mean PROMISE ME, that you will never tell anyone who or what you really are. 

And that you won’t try and access your abilities. I don’t know who’ll be watching. Your life, and the lives of everyone you care about depends on it. I’m guessing you feel how serious this is?”

You nod again, and a sob rises from your throat and escapes your lips. “I love you.”

There were tears running down his cheeks now too and he pulled you back tightly to his chest. “Remember what I always tell you when I am leaving?”

You nod the tears flowing freely now. “You love me more than anything in existence.”

“Damn right sugar. And that ain’t never going to change. I am so proud of you, and..” he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “And your mom would be too.”

“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind is there.” It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t answer. He just squeezed you tightly, and gave you one last kiss on the forehead and disappeared with a snap. 

You sat on the floor of your room and cried for an hour. And then you got up, wiped your eyes and counted to ten. It was time to be as brave as he thought you were. As he seemed to KNOW you could be. 

You stood up straight, and made the decision that from that day forward you would walk like you carried his wings with you. You would do what he would have done. You would make him proud. 

Two weeks later a man showed up at the house notifying you and your parents that Daniel had died in an accident. 

He handed a large envelope to you, “this is all he left. It was instructed that it be given only to you.”

You took it, your hands shaking. It sat on the desk in your room for another two weeks before you had the courage to open it. 

The night after graduation your parents tried to get you to go out and celebrate. So you smiled and pretended to do just that. 

In reality you sat in an all night Internet cafe with your laptop. 

You took a deep breath, and opened the envelope. Inside was a stack of papers and a dvd. With trembling hands you put it in your computer and put in your headphones. 

You choked on a sob as he appeared on the screen in front of you. “Hey Angel. There’s no easy way to say this, but if you’re watching this it means I’m dead.”

You silently cried as he spoke words similar to the ones he did the last time you were together, and then he held up the stack of papers that now laid in front of you on the desk. 

“All this paper work, that I had to do myself mind you, honestly the things I do for you kid.” You chuckled through your tears. 

“All of this is yours. It’s a bank account and some investments I made in your name. Do you believe that? Your dad went to a place where there are investors. 

Anyway, it’s all yours. Use it to go to college and create a perfect life will ya?”

You smiled, and rifled through the paperwork. The bank statement had so many zeros in the number that you said “what the shit dad?” Right out loud. 

Well, this made your decision even easier. Now that money wasn’t a concern, you could focus on your real future plans. And college wasn’t one of them. 

You turned back to your computer, and began an internet search on the names “Sam and Dean Winchester.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Id love to tell you that I knew the Winchester’s were headed to Portland. But it was just one of those lucky coincidences! Please comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Present day. 

“Daddy?” The broken look on your face made Gabriel’s heart crumble. 

He didn’t even wait for permission, he just pulled you into his arms and held you as you sobbed.

And then you pushed him away. Anger flared, “Where the hell have you been?”

Gabriel’s eyes fell, “hell is actually a pretty accurate description Angel.”

You felt guilty immediately, fear and fury rolling off him in waves. Also a name. His subconscious was practically screaming it. “Who is Asmodeus?”

His head snapped up, his eyes meeting yours. “Either you’ve gotten better at this, or I’ve gotten worse.”

“Little of column A, little of column B I suppose.” You said with a sniffle. Although you knew it was probably column A, you’d had a lot of years to practice. 

His brow furrowed, “wait a second, I was going to get mad at you, but you got mad at me first.” He grabbed your chin sternly, raising your eyes to meet his. Just like a father. 

“Mad at me?” You were quick to defend yourself. “Why would you be mad at me? You’re the one who disappeared.”

“Well unless I stumbled onto some kind of crazy coincidence, you seem to be killing demons. Are you.... are you hunting?”

He still held your face, but it didn’t stop you from dropping your gaze from his piercing eyes. 

He dropped his hand and ran both hands over his face with a grunt. “Hunting? Really? What the shit y/n? What are you thinking?” He so rarely used your real name. Kind of the equivalent of when your mom uses your full name. You know you’re in trouble. 

“I am doing what my father would do. I am helping people. SAVING people. I won’t apologize for that.”

“I don’t understand! How.. why.. how did this even happen?” He glanced around. 

“We need to have a serious talk young lady. But how about we go somewhere that’s a little less.... murderey.”

You couldn’t hide the smirk that appeared on your face. 

“This isn’t funny.” He pointed at you. 

“Young lady? Come on. It’s a little funny.” He still didn’t crack a smile, but you couldn’t help but see the sparkle in his eye. 

You sigh, “let’s go.” 

He follows you to your Jeep. The black one that you had upgraded with every addition you could find. 

“Geez sugar, preparing for the zombie apocalypse?” 

You shrug, “what can I say? My dad taught me to be ready for ANY kind of apocalypse.”

“Touché smart ass.” He climbed in the passenger seat and you headed back toward Portland. 

It was quiet for a long time. It felt like an eternity, his brain was going a million miles an hour. You could hear it. 

“Going to tell me who Asmodeus is?” You finally ask, breaking the silence. 

“Going to tell me who taught you to hunt?” He snapped back. 

“Dad..” you started. 

“No, don’t ‘dad’ me. Seriously, what the hell happened? You are supposed to be a college graduate with a spouse and 2.3 kids right now.” He turned sideways in his seat to get a better look at you. 

You glanced at him and rolled your eyes. “You can’t be serious. And besides, I am a college graduate. Of sorts.”

“And what ‘sort’ are we talking about?” He used air quotes as he said it. 

“I went to school for martial arts. I have mastered three different kinds, not to mention boxing and weaponry training. I wanted to be able to protect myself.” You were proud of your accomplishments. But in a glance, you saw he was less proud. 

In fact he felt guilty. 

“Stop,” You say. “This is not your fault, I chose this life. Even after I had all the information. I could have walked away at any point, but I know that this is what I was meant to do.”

He just shook his head. You pulled into one of your favorite all night diners, and turned to face him. 

“I have been trained. I’m smart and strong. I don’t make stupid decisions, or mistakes. Not when it’s important anyway.” You added thinking about your last few relationships. 

You both climbed out of the car, and he pulled you into an embrace in the parking lot, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“I hear you Angel. I really do, but I just need... more information. I need to know how you got from there...to here.”

You nod, “I get that. And I’ll tell you everything. As long as you promise to return that favor.”

Quick flashes of pain and torture seared your mind. Images of him in a cage. Were his lips stitched closed? 

“Dad?” You looked up at him, your stomach rolled, for a moment you thought you might be sick. 

He tried giving you a half smile. “Yeah sugar. It’s been quite a journey. I know I have a lot...” his voice trailed off. “What the hell. No. No no no no no. They can’t be here, what the hell are they doing here?”

He grabbed you, and dragged you to the other side of the Jeep. Pulling you down low, as if he was hiding from someone. 

“Problem?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. 

He shook his head. “Nah, I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably lots of people have that car. Lots of people.”

He was trying to convince himself, not you. 

You stood up and tried to see what he was talking about, but your windows were tinted too dark. You crept to the back of the car, and peeked around it. 

“What are you doing?” He hissed. “Get back here until I know for sure.”

You saw immediately what had spooked him. The black Impala was only a few spaces down from your Jeep. And you definitely recognized the license plate. 

“Dean’s car.” You whispered over your shoulder. “It’s empty, they must be inside.”

“This can’t be happening. I just left them a couple of days ago. What the hell are they doing in Portland?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, this place does have pretty good pie.”

You were leaning out, trying to see if you could catch a glimpse of them anywhere, when you felt a hand on your arm and your father pulled you to him. His face just inches from your own. 

“Start talking YOUNG LADY.” He emphasized the words. “How? No, not just how. WHY do you know the Winchesters? And how the flying fuuuc...” he censored his words. “How exactly did you know that Dean loves pie?” 

“I didn’t say anything specifically about Dean being the one who loves pie.” Although that was exactly what you had meant by the comment. 

Gabriel gritted his teeth, he jaw was so clenched you thought it might snap. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Calm down,” you chuckled. “Get in the car, we will go to my apartment instead. I don’t have bacon, but there might be some ice cream in the freezer.”

Gabe grumbled as he got back in the Jeep and slammed the door. You sighed as you walked around to get in as well. 

It was going to be a loooong night.


	5. Chapter 5

You almost made it. It was so damn close. You just started opening the driver side door when you heard it. 

“Y/n?”

“Shit.” You whispered. “Get in the back,” you hiss through the small crack of the open door. 

You hear and watch him clumsily climb over the console, which would be funny if the situation wasn’t what it was. 

Nah, it was still funny. You chuckled as you turned around. “Hey guys!” You closed the car door and walked a few paces from your Jeep in their direction.

Dean rushed forward first, scooping you up into his arms and lifting you off the ground. “Where have you been? We haven’t seen or heard much from you in weeks.”

You squeezed around his neck, landing a light kiss on his cheek. “Hey, I’ve missed you too.” You grunt through his bear hug. 

Your father’s voice rings in your head. “If he doesn’t stop touching you I’m coming out there. I don’t even care.”

You roll your eyes, but back up a pace or two when Dean places your feet back on the ground. 

“Just busy around here these days. Haven’t really had a need to leave the area to find work. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.” You peek your head around Dean to the eyes that aren’t meeting your gaze. 

“Sam.” You say simply, and he glances up at you, his hair covering his eyes a bit. 

He slips his hands in his pockets and tries to smile. “Hey. Glad you’re okay. I wasn’t sure when I didn’t hear from you.”

Well that was just a bit passive aggressive, you thought to yourself. “Yep, I know how that feels.” You bite back softly, and his eyes lower to the ground again. 

Dean looks over his shoulder at his forlorn brother and back at you. He rolls his eyes. “Yada yada yada, I’m going to make up something about forgetting something inside and give you two a few minutes.” 

He leans down and kisses you on the cheek. “Don’t let him win this one.” He says softly in your ear. “He’s been moping for a month.”

You feel your mouth raise into a half smile, and he shoves Sam a bit as he walks past him. 

You move forward, knowing that your father is about to hear all of what’s about to happen, but frankly being too angry to care. 

“So,” He starts, hands going back in the pockets of his jeans, eyes back at the ground. 

“No Sam, just no. You don’t get to look pitiful and sad. Because I am angry, and if you keep looking at me that way, or NOT looking at me that way, I’m going to feel guilty. And it’s YOUR turn to feel guilty.”

His eyes raised to meet yours now, and he moved towards you this time crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ve been calling you for weeks!” He hissed in a loud whisper. 

“I texted you every damn day for a month and got nothing from you. I thought you were in trouble or hurt, or worse!”

You shook your head, “I texted Dean and told him I was fine,” you replied. But couldn’t stop feeling like maybe this was as much your fault as his. Maybe. Almost. 

He scoffed, “I don’t know what to say. I have apologized in every form imaginable, and I... “ 

You interrupted him this time, “you left me Sam!” You leaned close to him, as close as you dared knowing you couldn’t trust yourself around him. 

“I woke up in YOUR bed, and you were gone. After you promised me you wouldn’t go without me.” You felt your eyes start to tear up, but you shut that shit down. You were not going to cry in front of him. You had done enough crying by yourself. 

He had the presence of mind to look guilty this time. “I know.” He responded. 

“Aw Angel. What have you done?” You hear in your head. For a moment, you had forgotten he was there. 

“Not now.” You said firmly out loud.

Sam looked at you, his head tilted in question. “Never mind.” You say before he can ask. 

“I need you to understand,” he cautiously took another step toward you. He could touch you if he wanted to, but it wasn’t enough for him. He moved even closer his body close enough you could smell him. 

That smell that was so very....Sam. You closed your eyes and inhaled through your nose. You couldn’t help it. You had missed him whether you wanted to admit it or not. 

He used a finger to lift your chin to his eye-line, your neck craning a bit as he stood a head taller than you. “It was too dangerous. I couldn’t risk losing you, I’m sorry that I lied to you. I really am. But I would do it again in a heart beat.”

This time a tear did leak from your eye. He used his thumb to wipe it from your cheek. 

Just the small touch took you back to the bunker. You were in the library, had been for hours going over every book you could find that might help with the hunt.

You had been friends with the boys for three years now. Your feelings for Sam, that you were so sure were unrequited, turned out to be less so when after arguing for thirty minutes about how to go about the dangerous mission, ended with him pulling you into his arms and kissing you deeply, your back pressed against a bookcase. 

“You are infuriating.” He whispered in your ear, as you bit at his neck and earlobe. 

“Right back at you Winchester.” 

He lifted you from the ground, carrying you to his bedroom kissing you the whole way there. 

He tossed you on his bed, and climbed up your body like a predatory animal. Your breath caught as he took hold of your hands and pinned them over your head kissing you again this time finishing the kiss by running the tip of his tongue over your top lip. “You’re not going.” He whispered his nose touching yours.

“Yes, I am.” You responded. But your voice squeaked, you were completely lost in his fiery gaze. You cleared your throat, “yes Sam. I’m going.” You said more firmly this time, punctuating the statement by letting your own tongue flick from your mouth to his lips. 

He closed his eyes and made a noise you had never heard come from him before. You couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Infuriating.” He repeated, kissing you again as you pulled his shirt off over his head. 

“WHOA THERE.” Gabriel was practically screaming in your head. “Stop, I do not need to see this.” 

“Then get out of my head.” You pushed silently back at him angrily. And looked back up at Sam. 

And now as you met his gaze, the memories flooded back of the pain of waking alone with a note next to you that simply said “I’m sorry” on it. 

You left that day, and hadn’t spoken to him since. 

“Please.” He said simply, his hands going to your face. His long fingers wrapping around the back of your neck. “Please can we just talk about this?” 

He laid his forehead on yours, and you nodded. “But not right now. I’m kind of in the middle of something. Call me when you finish your case, hopefully by then I’ll have some things figured out.” 

He leaned down and kissed you softly on the forehead. “Call me tomorrow?” He asked, his eyes hopeful. 

You quietly agreed. “Okay.”

He waved and walked to the impala, Dean already sitting inside talking on his phone. He stopped one last time to look at you before getting in the car. 

You counted to ten before turning back to the Jeep. Your father was practically screaming in your head. 

“Freaking Winchester’s. Every. Damn. Time.” 

“They are a curse that Chuck placed here just to torment me. I freaking know it.”

The language got very colorful then and you opened the door and climbed inside. “Are you done?” You asked out loud. 

“Oh I haven’t even started sugar. Buckle in. Literally and figuratively. “

You laid your head on the steering wheel and started the car.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments!!

He ranted all the way to your tiny apartment in downtown Portland. 

You found it better to not say a word, as every time you opened your mouth he shouted, “and another thing!” From the back seat. 

He followed blindly inside as you closed and locked three deadbolts on your apartment door. And then followed you to the kitchen as you ransacked the cabinets looking for a drink. 

“Well? Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” His voice rang out from behind you. 

You raised a finger in the air, signaling that it was his turn to wait and went to the freezer for your last resort vodka bottle. 

You didn’t even get a glass. You just drank directly from the bottle, and Gabriel’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak. 

But your finger went up again, silencing him and you sat the bottle on the counter. “Is it my turn now?” You said quietly and calmly. 

He swallowed visibly, just now realizing how enraged you really were. “Yeah.” He chuckled nervously, “it’s funny. Uh. The angrier your mom was with me the more calm she was. I uh... I’m sensing you inherited that one.”

The look you gave him made him stop talking. 

“When you left,” you started slowly still trying to piece together your thoughts. “I was completely lost. I had no one to talk to. No one to answer about a million questions. I. Had. No one.”

He looked down at his shoes and tucked his hands in his pockets. 

“But what I did have were two names that I managed to yank from your stupid head just before you left me. Sam and Dean Winchester.

YOU gave me their names. The only names I had to go on to help me put my shitty life back together.”

You stepped closer to him. “It took me almost two years to find them. TWO YEARS. My parents thought I was in college, and had a job here. They had no clue that I spent my time in some pretty dark places listening to whispers of the infamous Winchesters. 

When I did finally track them down, I had just missed them. And then I kept just missing them. But, in that time I learned about what they were doing. 

I saw the people they saved. I talked to the survivors left behind after brutal attacks. And I realized how wrong you were. 

Sam and Dean aren’t a curse to this world. They are its SAVIORS.” 

You stopped talking long enough to lift yourself up to sit on the counter as you took another drink from the bottle. 

“And I realized what an asset I could be to that world. The world of hunting. And so I started my training. I kept track of the boys, and became an infamous hunter myself. 

My abilities gave me a huge advantage. 

Did you know that I can pick a supernatural creature from a crowd of hundreds? Or, that I heal incredibly fast which makes the danger far less for me than most hunters?”

Gabriel shook his head, “I’m sure you are an amazing hunter Angel. It’s just... not what I wanted for you.”

“Yeah well, that wasn’t really a decision you were gonna get to make anyway.”

He cautiously moved a bit closer and stood just in front of you, his arms folded across his chest. “So when did you become such good friends with our boys?” He asked through gritted teeth. 

“I was on a hunt in Montana a little over three years ago. I try to stay in the northwest, just so I can check in on my parents.”

“Do they know what you do?”

You shook your head, “no. They know I travel for work. They think I’m in sales or something. I honestly can’t remember what I told them exactly. My abilities allow me to influence their emotions just enough to keep them from thinking or worrying about me too much. They’re happy, and safe. That’s what matters.”

He nodded running a hand over his chin. 

“Anyway, it started out as a vengeful ghost case, but I discovered a nest of vampires was also using the area as a sort of buffet. The boys discovered the same thing.”

The memories were so clear in your mind. The building that housed what ended up being multiple vengeful spirits had vampires living in the basement. 

It was like some sort of monster compound. 

You were on the fourth floor when you heard signs of a struggle from below you, the sound of a shotgun and a voice yelling “Sammy? You okay?”

“Dean, behind you!” The reply was, and you immediately realized not only were you not alone in the building, the men you’d been searching for for years had actually found you first. 

You ran downstairs as fast as you could, a machete in one hand, and iron bar in the other. 

Dean struggled, his arms pinned to his sides by a vamp holding him from behind. Sam laid up against a wall on the opposite side of the room, blood dripping down his face from a head wound. 

You moved quickly, kicking the vamp in the back of the knee with enough force that you heard the bone crack. 

His legs buckled, and Dean stumbled forward. You swung the machete back handed, swiftly removing the vampires head, and tossed the iron bar across the room as it scattered a spirit that raced through an open doorway with a screech. 

Both boys looked at you in stunned silence. Dean spoke first. 

“That was...” he nodded his head, his hands going to his hips. “Really hot.”

The three of you cleaned out the rest of the building, found the remains you needed to destroy and wrapped the case up. 

You spent that evening in a run down bar eating terrible food and listening to their victory recap. 

You parted ways the next day, but your affection for them was already sealed. 

Sam gave you a list of names and numbers of other hunters you could reach out to if you needed anything and they were unavailable. They also gave your information to people they trusted. 

You had helped Jody with a wendigo issue, and even driven to Texas to assist Eileen with a few cases. 

Finally you ended up back with Sam and Dean in the bunker. You had stayed for a few weeks and as Dean’s affection for you grew into a sisterly relationship, it never quite felt that way with Sam. 

Your heart pounded if he was close enough to you that you were touching in any way. You found yourself wanting to run your fingers through his hair, and even got to a few times when the affection felt appropriate. 

You knew you were developing a dangerous crush, but realized it was far more than that after a particularly miserable case left him injured. 

You sat next to him on his bed, cleaning his wounds and preparing to wrap an injured wrist with a bandage. 

As you took his hand carefully he winced, and without thinking you hissed and said “I’m sorry Sam,” and raised it softly to your lips kissing the black and blue bruise that blossomed inside his wrist just over his pulse point. 

You could feel his heart start to race, and felt your face flush with heat as you blushed. “I..I’m sorry Sam. I don’t know why I did that.”

You were so humiliated, you didn’t even know if you should stay and finish the job you started. 

He placed his other hand to your cheek, “Hey, it’s okay. I think it actually helped it feel better.”

And you couldn’t help but wonder, your abilities being what they were, if that was actually true. 

You finished wrapping his wrist and left with the promise of bringing him back some food. 

He was asleep by the time you got back, so you quietly sat the plate on his nightstand next to him. He reached out with his good hand, and grasped your wrist. “Don’t leave.” He whispered and you nodded. 

“Want to watch a movie?” He asked, sitting up against his headboard. 

“Sure,” you responded with a smile walking around the bed and settling next to him as he turned on the tv. 

To be honest, you had no idea what you were watching. You were far too distracted at how close you were sitting to him. Your right arm and leg touching his, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. 

You shivered involuntarily. 

“Are you cold?” He asked, he leaned forward pulling a blanket from the bottom of the bed and placing it in your lap. 

“Thanks Sam.” You whispered, your voice a little raspier than you intended. 

“Welcome.” He said with a soft smile and a yawn. 

“I should go, you need to get some sleep.” You went to move and he stopped you again. 

“Please stay.” He laid down on his pillow and looked up at you. “Just till the end of the movie? I.. I want you to stay.”

“Sure Sam.” You reached down and brushed some hair from his eyes with your fingers. 

You felt him lean in to your touch, so you continued to softly run your hand through his hair as he fell asleep. 

You stared down at his beautiful profile, his face so peaceful in sleep. 

Your heart was pounding again as a rush of affection over took you. Is this it? You asked yourself silently. Is this what love feels like?

“It’s definitely what it looks like,” You whispered almost silently as you bent down and kissed him softly on his temple before turning off the tv and leaving him to sleep. 

The incident in the library happened a week later. 

You told Gabriel what you felt he needed to know and kept the rest of the details to yourself. But he wasn’t giving up that easily. 

“How long?” He asked. 

And you looked at him innocently, even though you knew what he meant. “How long what?”

If he wanted to know, you were damn well going to make him say the words. 

The teeth grinding started again. “How long have you and Sam been...” he cleared his throat. “Uh, let’s say ‘together’.”

He used air quotes at the word. 

You rolled your eyes and jumped down from the counter. “We aren’t ‘together’. Exactly.” You mimicked his air quotes. 

“So what exactly are you?”

You shrugged and leaned your head forward onto his chest. “I don’t know. The way he left me. It hurt dad. Like really hurt. It made me feel like another one night stand.”

Gabe lifted your chin to meet your eyes. “Listen Angel, as much as I don’t want to say ANY of this, I saw the way he looked at you. You ain’t no one night stand.”

“Then why do I feel like one?” You whispered a tear slipping down your cheek. 

“Because sugar, men are idiots. And none more so than the Winchesters.” He pulled you tightly to his chest and you inhaled his familiar scent and without warning you began to sob. 

He lifted you and carried you like when you were a child. He sat on the couch and held you as you cried. As you mourned his loss, and wept again for his return. As you allowed yourself to feel for the first time in what felt like eight years. Like you’d been holding your breath under water, and finally broke the surface. 

“I’m so sorry Angel.” He said softly as you finally ran out of tears and were left just a shuddering mess. 

“‘S okay.” You responded wiping your nose with a handkerchief he handed you from nowhere.”

“It’s about as far from okay as it can get.” He kissed you over and over on the top of your head. 

“I love you.” You whispered and he made a small squeaky noise in his throat. 

“I love you too kid.” His voice was thick with emotion. He cleared his throat, “and uh, I’m gonna need you to hold onto that feeling. Cause I have a few things to take care of, so I need...”

You clamped a hand over his mouth, “if you say you have to leave, I swear to Chuck I will end you.”

He moved your hand and kissed your palm. “I’ll be back, I just have a few people who owe me that I need to visit.”

Your brow furrowed, “owe you? Owe you what exactly?”

He shrugged, “nothing for you to concern yourself with sugar. Just their lives.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Thanks for reading and commenting!

You looked at him with an expression that you hoped conveyed the emotional roller coaster that sentence was. 

“Explain.” It’s the only word you can think of to use. 

“Now.” I guess there was one more. 

“It’s complicated.” He leaned forward, pulling a small piece of paper from his back pocket and fidgeting with it. 

You could see over his shoulder what looked like a list of names. You snatched it from his hands before he could stop you. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, is this some kind of KILL list?” Your mouth hung open in shock and he looked at his feet. 

“And it says Loki. I thought YOU were Loki. I am so confused right now.”

“Like I said sugar, it’s a looong story.” He leaned back, crossing his long legs out in front of him and his arms behind his head. 

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m not super busy right now. So it’s your turn, start talking.”

And he did. Telling you the entire sordid story and by the time he finished, your vodka bottle was empty and you were sitting on the floor at his feet. 

“So your answer to all of this is to just kill everyone? I’m sorry, I’m just trying to figure out the logic here dad.”

“Somebody has to Angel, what they did to your old dad is unforgivable.”

You snorted right out loud. “So tell me dear old dad, is this why you’re back? And you still haven’t even mentioned the name Asmodeus. “

He visually flinched at the name, and you immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry, but I just feel like you are telling me the story of your kill list to avoid telling me about where you’ve been for the last eight years. I need... no I DESERVE to know dad.”

You finished by kneeling in front of him and reaching for him. 

He leaned forward and took hold of your hands and lifted them to his lips kissing them softly and resting his forehead on them. 

“Okay Angel. I’ll tell you everything, but you’re about to be very sorry that you already finished off that bottle.”

You couldn’t help but flinch this time. 

Maybe you didn’t want to know after all. 

———————————————————

You woke up in your bed, still wearing the clothes you’d had on the night before. You sat up slowly, your head pounding. 

Maybe downing that bottle wasn’t such a great idea after all. 

There was a moment of panic when you remembered everything, and you were afraid he had left you once again. 

Your heart stopped racing when you ran into the living room to see Gabriel, as he snored softly, sitting on the couch. His head tipped backward and his mouth hanging open a bit. 

He didn’t sleep often. It was a testament to his own exhaustion level. 

Your eyes filled with tears at the sight of him. So you stumbled into the bathroom and splashed water on your face, but it wasn’t enough. 

You stripped down and climbed in the shower turning the water as hot you could stand it. And then you sat in the tub and sobbed as the water rained down over you. 

The story he told was brutal. You had tried so hard to be brave, but by the time you heard the words “cage” and “torture” you fell apart. 

He held you as you cried and when he finished the story you were so tired and broken you passed out on his chest. He must have carried you to your bed. 

Just like when you were little. 

The thought brought another round of tears, and your whole body shook despite the steam that rose from the molten hot water. 

There was a soft tap on the door, “you okay in there Angel?”

You heard his voice clearly, and the sound of it immediately brought peace. 

He was here. 

He was alive. 

And for now, you needed to remember that every moment with him was a gift you never thought you’d have. 

You turned off the water, and wiped your eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just taking a quick shower. Are you hungry? We can go get breakfast?” 

You were sniffling and your voice was shaky, despite your efforts to sound normal. 

You climbed from the shower, put on your robe, and got some tissue for your nose. 

“Open the door sugar,” He said, and you weren’t going to resist. 

You opened it, the steam rushing from the room into the hallway. You could only imagine how you must have looked. 

He looked down at you, and the heartbreak was written all over his face. 

“I’m sorry daddy.” You said with a sob. “I’m so so sorry.”

“Hey,” he reached out and pulled you to his chest, resting his chin on top of your head. 

“What are you talking about? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Your body heaved as you spoke. “I didn’t even look for you. If I hadn’t given up..,” 

“Whoa there!” He held you out at arms length. 

“What the hell gave you the idea that you could have changed or fixed anything that happened? Your ego knows no bounds kid, I swear. Chuck only knows where you inherited that from.”

You shoved him back a bit, the smirk on his face undeniable. “Shut up. You don’t get to be funny right now.”

“Ah, it cant be helped love. I just can’t seem to turn it off.” He pulled you back in and kissed the top of your head. “There’s not a thing you could have done. You have to know that, right?” He said in a far more serious tone. 

You nodded, but still felt the pangs of guilt that had settled in your stomach like rocks. 

“Your phone has been blowing up for the last half hour,” he nodded his head towards the coffee table where it had been abandoned the night before. 

“And did you check to see who it was?” You looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. 

He tried to look taken aback, a hand to his chest. “What? Of course not! How dare you?”

You just raised your brow a bit higher, and he rolled his eyes. “Fine. It’s the taller of the two evils.”

“Dad...” you broke from him and went for your phone. 

There were four texts and a missed call. You frowned a bit, as you read through them. 

“Are you awake?”

Less than ten minutes later. “Y/n, please just respond so I know you’re okay.”

Missed call. 

“I’m getting worried. Rowena is alive and here in Portland. Did you know? Did you go after her?”

Another few minutes. “I’m coming to your apartment. I really hope you’re there, she’s more powerful and dangerous than she’s ever been before.” 

You looked over at your father with a bit of panic. “How long since the last text??”

He shrugged, “maybe ten minutes.”

“Shit.” You mumbled, trying to press the call back button as quickly as you could. Not noticing that your phone was sitting at 2% battery life. 

“Shit shit shit.” You repeated as it rang and rang. “Come on Sam, answer the damn phone.”

“What is going on, is everything okay?” Gabriel rushed at you a worried look on his face. 

It was at that moment that you realized that despite his sassy attitude about the boys, he really did care. 

“Y/n?!” You sighed in relief as Sam’s voice filled your ears. 

“Hey Sam, sorry I was in the shower and didn’t hear my phone. Uhh, where are you guys?” You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. Your head was still pounding. 

“We are almost to your apartment, are you home?”

You raised your eyes to the ceiling. “Yes Sam, I’m here. But there’s no need for you to...”

He cut you off. “No, it’s okay. We will be there in less than five minutes. I’d like to fill you in on what’s happening here anyway. We will see you soon?”

The hopefulness in his voice made you cringe. “Sam, no really it’s..” and your phone died in your hand. 

You looked at Gabriel with a teeth gritted smile. “Sooo, here’s the thing...”

“I know, I heard.” He replied, stalking into the kitchen. You heard cupboards opening and closing. “Is there really nothing else to drink in this place?” He shouted. 

You sighed and went to the fridge, passing him a bottle of water and pulling one out for yourself. “Drink this. It’s better for both of us.”

He looked at you with his head tilted as if he was trying to figure out if you were serious. 

You pulled some headache medicine from the open cupboard, and opened your bottle to wash it down. 

He still just stared at you. 

“Soooo, are we gonna tell them?” You asked, legitimately curious as to what he thought. 

“Are we going to tell them? ARE WE GOING TO TELL THEM??” His voice steadily rose. “Do you have any idea what they’ve been up to lately? Does the name Jack mean anything to you?”

You shook your head, he was a lot angrier than you expected. 

“Hell no we aren’t going to tell them. If they find out you are half arch angel...” he didn’t finish his statement. 

“What?” You asked quietly, not sure you wanted to know the answer. 

“Let’s just say it wouldn’t be good, they are looking for grace and I don’t want them to think you have any to spare.”

You both stood silent for a few moments. 

“They are going to be here soon.” You said, glancing out the front window of your apartment. 

He nodded. “I’ll just wait in your room. Where’s your computer, I need to start looking for a few people.”

“It’s on the floor, next to my bed.”

Quiet fell again. 

“I only worry because I love you Angel.” He took a few steps toward you and kissed you on the forehead. “I hope you know that.”

You nodded, “I know. I should probably get dressed before they get here.” You finished looking down at your fluffy pink robe. 

“Yes you should,” he shouted at your retreating back. “Something long sleeved that goes all the way to your ankles! And really baggy, nothing form fitting!”

You laughed as you shut the bedroom door when he shouted, “do you have a snowsuit??”

—


	8. Chapter 8

It was less than five minutes later that the boys knocked at your door. You gave one last nod at Gabriel as he closed your bedroom door from inside. 

Before he closed it completely, he gave you that two fingered point from his eyes to yours, and you rolled your eyes and opened the door. 

“Hey guys,” you said before realizing  
Sam was standing alone at your door. 

Well shit. You thought to yourself. As you assumed another incredibly personal discussion was about to take place where your father could hear everything. 

“Sam? I though Dean was with you.” He walked past you inside, and stood awkwardly in the foyer. 

“He’s in the car. I told him I’d only be a few minutes.”

This was a far cry from the last time he was in your apartment, when he and Dean made themselves at home like usual by eating all your food and drinking the house dry as they laid in front of your television. 

“Come in Sam, I’m not going to bite you.” You chuckled and he shrugged and headed toward your kitchen. 

“I guess I wasn’t sure after our last chat.” He slipped his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth standing in front of your kitchen table. 

At least this was far enough from your room that your father would have to be trying to hear what was said, and you hoped he would mind his own business for once. 

“Soooo?” You started, folding your arms protectively across your chest and staying a safe distance from him. “Rowena is here then?”

He looked at you as if he only just remembered the excuse he used to come and see you. 

“Uh yeah. But we got it handled, so you don’t have to worry.”

Don’t try and come with us, in other words..... “I’m not.” You responded simply. 

There was a long pause, and you finally couldn’t take it anymore. “What Sam? You obviously came here to say something, and it wasn’t about Rowena.” Your tone practically begged for relief from the awkwardness of the entire situation. 

“I don’t regret it.” He said, taking a small step in your direction. 

Your anger flared, “I’m sure you don’t. You did leave me that beautifully worded letter after all.” You snapped a bit, but the pain made your voice crack. Which made you even angrier. 

He raised his hands, “What? No! That’s not what I meant.” Another step carefully toward you, like he was approaching a poisonous snake. 

You tilted your head, “then what did you mean?”

“I meant US! I don’t regret what happened between us.” He moved again and reached for you instinctively as if he couldn’t help himself. “Do you?”

You took a step backward, your eyes filling with the tears you hated so much. “Every day.” You said softly. 

His face broke, and he lowered his hand tucking it back into his pocket. “Oh,” he responded, looking down and trying not to see the tears on your face. 

“Do you want to know why?” You asked. Finally realizing it was unfair of you not to tell him how you felt and just expect him to figure it out on his own. 

“Yes! Of course I do!” He sounded frustrated. You couldn’t blame him. Not completely. 

“I’m a grown woman Sam. And I’m fully capable of taking care of myself and making my own decisions.” He opened his mouth to respond, but this time you stepped forward and put your hand over his mouth. 

“Do you have any idea how I felt that morning? Did you even THINK about the impression I got from the way you left?”

His eyes grew a bit, and then his brow furrowed. “There it is.” You said, your hand still clamped over his lips as the realization of the consequences of his actions set in. 

“I felt like a whore Sam. Like a way for you to kill some time before your next hunt. Like I didn’t matter. Like NONE OF IT MATTERED.”

The tears ran freely down your face now, and you let them. You wanted him to see how much he hurt you. 

You let go of him and took a step back. “I left because I couldn’t stay there. Not knowing if or when you were coming back. And if I was just going to become another distraction when you were in need of some attention. You stopped taking me seriously as a hunter Sam. The minute I climbed into your bed.”

You continued, too emotional to stop now. “I shouldn’t have let it happen. I shouldn’t have let the feelings I had for you get in the way of work. I should have known better. I work better alone, this kind of thing never works out for me. It can’t happen again.” 

His face looked like you had physically slapped him. Covered in shock and pain. 

“I didn’t... I can’t believe.. this is all such a huge mess.” He finally said. 

You nodded, “and now you see why I regret what happened.”

He moved forward and grabbed your arm, “no! No that’s not what I meant. I need you to know..” his phone rang out and he pulled it from his pocket. 

He grunted in frustration, but answered it anyway. “What Dean? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

He paused for a moment, ran his fingers through his hair, and let his hand run down his face until he was pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. Yes I got it. I’m on my way.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I have to go.” He looked at you and you nodded. 

“I understand.” You were finished with what you had to say, and now YOU were the one who couldn’t make eye contact as you looked at your feet. 

He lifted your chin, “you really really don’t though.” He said quietly. 

“When all this is done....” he didn’t even finish the sentence. You both knew this was never going to be done. 

Ever. 

But you gave him an obligatory nod and showed him to the door opening it as he stepped out. 

He gave you one last desperate look, and his phone went off again. 

“Bye Sam.” You said, closing the door before he could say a word. 

And you sat on the floor and cried for the second time that day. 

—————————————————-——-

“What about pancakes? You love pancakes!” Gabriel held you tightly against his chest. 

You sniffled, but laughed a bit. “I get the feeling you’re hungry.”

“Arch angel baby, remember? I don’t need to eat. I am just trying to distract us both so I don’t hunt down the Sasquatch and snap him into dust.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled back, “it’s fine dad. It’s over now, I probably won’t ever see him again. At least not any time soon.”

“So no more canoodling with Sam Winchester?” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at you. 

“It was one canoodle daddy. And no, it won’t be happening again.” 

You wiped at your eyes, and stood up straight. “Now, what were you saying about pancakes?”

What was it about chocolate chip pancakes covered in whip cream that made things seem not quite so bleak. You thought to yourself as you stared at the empty plate in front of you. 

Gabriel sat across from you in the booth at the small diner, nursing a cup of black coffee. 

“Feel better?” He asked with a smile. 

“I do. Thanks dad.” You looked across the table at him. “I still can’t believe you’re real. I am so glad you are here.” You reached across the table and he took your hand and squeezed it. 

“There’s still a lot of trouble brewing Angel. You know, just like always.” He muttered the last part. “All the more reason for you to avoid the Winchesters.” He pointed a finger at you. 

You couldn’t help the worried knot in your stomach. “What is happening dad? Someone needs to tell me.”

He shook his head, “it’s not your problem kid. You hear me? Stay out of it.”

You looked at him in disbelief. “What the hell is wrong with the men in my life? I am capable of defending myself. Despite what you all seem to think.”

“Angel this is WAY bigger than whatever witch nonsense is going on here. Trust me, you’re better off not knowing.”

You actually believed him. His tone and emotions said it all. But despite what you had said earlier, the thought of Sam and Dean being in danger was unacceptable to you, if there was any way you could help, you were going to. 

But for now you smiled, nodded and stayed quiet. 

It took over a day. You didn’t hear much from your father as he used your phone and computer to do the research on his first target. 

You sat some food in front of him and he barely glanced at it. “Thanks Angel.”

You pushed the plate closer. “Eat. You haven’t eaten anything in more than a day.”

“I’m fine,” he replied, although he took a bite of the sandwich you gave him just to get that look off of your face. 

“Eureka!” He shouted, jumping to his feet. “Yes, I knew it you sons of bitches!” He spiked the sandwich in his hand like a football and it fell apart all over the table. 

“Really?” You looked at him, your hands on your hips. 

He glanced at you and fell back into his chair, “good lord, you look just like your mother.”

Your heart clenched at the look on his face. “I’m...I’m sorry.” It was a stupid thing to say, but you had no idea how to respond. 

He shook his head, stood up and hugged you, “never apologize for that. You hear me? She was the best thing about this stupid planet.”

You chuckled at that. “So what exactly were you so enthusiastic about, that it caused you to destroy a sandwich all over my table?”

He let go of you and looked down, “Uh, I found them.”

“Them being the men on your list?” Your voice got a little shaky. You honestly had hoped he would never track them down. 

“Three out of the four anyway,” he went back to your computer. 

“I can’t stop you from doing this can I?” You tucked your hair nervously behind your ears, and chewed on your bottom lip. 

Gabriel tried to hold in the wince. You were so like her it was scary, and it made his heart ache at how much he missed her. 

“I’m sorry Angel, but no. This one can’t be left undone before....” he cut himself off at that. 

“Before what?” Your hands went back to your hips, and he made a note on the back of his list and turned your computer off. 

“Before what dad?” You said again, not letting it go. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed himself under his breath. “Okay, you just have to promise not to make a whole thing about it.”

You had known there was trouble brewing, but his feelings were undeniable. Rage and fear. “He’s back isn’t he?” You said it. The words came from your mouth, but it still felt like an out of body experience. 

“Sugar listen..” he started, but you pulled away. 

“No! Do you hear me? No!”

He took a step forward, “I have to help Angel, there’s no one else.”

“But you DIED LAST TIME DAD! Don’t you remember? Because I do!” You were furious. 

“Let Sam and Dean deal with it, they came out on top last time, they can do it again!”

He shook his head, “spending time in a cage being tortured and coming back without a soul is not ‘coming out on top’ y/n! I am the only one who can truly stand up to Lucifer as his equal.”

You winced at the mention of soulless Sam. You hadn’t known them then, but you’d heard stories. And you knew Sam still had nightmares about his time in the cage. 

“So what happens now? I just let you leave? Watch you snap your fingers and disappear to finish off your little kill list, and move on to probably be destroyed by a fallen arch angel? Tell me daddy, is that what I’m supposed to do?” You stood in front of him again, your finger poking him in the chest. 

“Actually....” his face twisted into a grimacing smile. “I’m a bit low on juice, I kind of used the last of it getting here and smiting those demons. so I was hoping you’d... maybe drive me there?” His voice went up a couple of octaves at the end, as if he was trying to soften the blow so you didn’t punch him in the face. 

You shook your head and laughed. You couldn’t help it. “This day, I swear to Chuck.” 

You turned and walked away. 

“Please Angel! I thought you’d be happy about that. More time to spend with your dad? They’re in Colorado, that’s like a two day drive!” He shouted at your back as you stalked into your room and slammed the door as hard as you could. 

You paced back and forth in your room muttering under your breath. “This whole thing is ridiculous. How can they not see that I’m helpful? Because they never give me the chance to be helpful. Not when it counts anyway.”

You stopped moving and stood up straight, unable to stop the smile that crept onto your face. “Of course, I’ve been so stupid!” You muttered, and then you walked with confidence back to where he stood in the living room. 

His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked like he had been doing a fair bit of pacing himself. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” You said, mimicking his posture, your arms crossed, head tilted to the side. 

“I am going to take you to Colorado, and I will stay out of the fight there.”

“Finally you’re coming to your senses.” He threw his hands up, and you raised a finger. 

“BUT. YOU. You are going to agree to EVERY demand I make. Deal?” You stuck your hand out. 

He chuckled, “Okay kid, two things. First, I’m not the arch angel that makes deals. That one is what caused this whole mess.” He motioned around himself. 

“And second, what are your terms and I will consider it.”

You shook your head. “Nope. Doesn’t work like that this time. You make the deal, I’ll take you to Colorado, and after you finish up there I will expect you to fulfill your part of this bargain. No matter what that is.”

He shook his head, “no. What the hell are you even saying?? No. I’m not going to agree to any deal when I don’t even know what it is you want!

You could tell me you want me to help you shack up with Sam Winchester and have little destructive hunting babies! No. I don’t agree. No.” He waved his hands. 

You shrugged. “Well, enjoy your bus to Colorado. I’m sure it won’t be too long and terrible.”

You knew that would get him, Gabriel travels in style. 

“I can get there any way I want sugar, I don’t need you or a stupid bus.”

You laughed, “really? Even without your powers? Good luck with that.”

You just kept looking at him, and he looked down at the floor and back up at you at least four times. But you stood strong. 

“Ahh shit. Fine alright! I agree to your secret demands. Now will you please help me get to Colorado before it’s too late.” He really was desperate to kill these guys. You honestly didn’t expect him to give in so easily. 

You nodded. “I’ll just pack some things.”

He followed behind you, “I need a weapon, can I borrow something?”

You rolled your eyes. “Why not?” 

You walked into your room, opened your closet and tapped on a panel in the wall. A small door popped open with a weapons cache inside. 

“Cool.” He muttered peeking his head inside as you grabbed clothes and a worn backpack. 

A few minutes later he was still looking. “I’m ready whenever you are.” You said, tucking your phone into your pocket. 

“Actually,” He said looking over at you. “You don’t happen to have a samurai sword do you?”


	9. Chapter 9

“Don’t panic.” 

You glanced up from your phone as Gabriel approached the Jeep. He was hunched over. 

And bleeding. 

“What the hell happened?” You climbed from the car and helped him into the back, wincing at the amount of cleanup that was going to be required after all this. 

He explained about the fight as you ripped up an old T-shirt and wrapped it around him as tight as you could to try and stop the bleeding. 

“This is why you should have let me come with you.” You hissed at him through gritted teeth. 

He winced as he tried to sit up in the seat. “Well I didn’t know the fight was going to be that difficult did I?”

“Lay back down idiot.” You mumbled as you really did try not to panic. He was bleeding right through the makeshift bandage you had applied. 

“Sharp sword you got there kid.” He cried out in pain as he pulled his legs into the car so you could close the door. 

You jumped in the front, not even knowing for sure where to go. “Well I probably wouldn’t have let you take it if I had known you were going to run yourself through with it.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I also ran it through the other guy.” He grunted, and you pulled up to the exit of the parking lot, having no clue which direction to go. 

“Left kid, go left.”

You nodded, trying very hard to pay attention to the road as his breathing started getting raspy and uneven.

“Daddy?” You risked glancing over your shoulder, and he tried his best to give you a small smile.

“It’s all good sugar, just follow this road, and take a left in about a mile. I’ll let you know when.”

You were shaking, having trouble concentrating on the road. “Where are we going? Is there a hospital nearby?”

He laughed, “no angel. No hospital. Just keep driving.”

So you did, and after a few more turns, he grunted, “here Angel on the right”

It was a cheap looking run down motel. 

“Park over there,” he pointed. “And I’m going to run inside for a bit.”

You parked the car where he instructed, but scoffed at the thought of him “running” anywhere anytime soon.

He kicked the door open, and hissed in pain as he tried to climb out. You were over at his side before he even got close to going anywhere. 

“It’s okay sugar, I’ll be fine. Just need to get to room 204.” He swayed in front of you, and for a moment you thought he was going to pass out.

“Well you’re not getting there on your own, come here.” You lifted his arm around your shoulder and practically carried him to the room he instructed.

You reached for the door knob, “probably should knock. They uh... won’t be expecting us.”

You rapped on the door a few times, and he glanced at you. “Oh and if you could not tell them who you are to me, that’d be great.”

“Wha? Who is in there dad?”

The door opened carefully, as if whoever was inside was leery of what waited on the other side. 

You gasped audibly as you took in the unexpected sight of Sam with the door in his hand, and Dean with a gun pointed at you. The boys looked at the two of you in complete shock.

“Hey boys.” Gabriel gave them a pained smile. “Looking for me?”

For a moment, everyone just stood still trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Everyone but Gabriel. “I believe you know my friend here,” he motioned to you with his head, as he pushed you to help him inside the musty smelling room.

You barely cast a glance at Sam, and his brow was so furrowed his eyebrows practically came together.

“Y/n, what the hell?” Dean stepped forward and helped you lay Gabriel on the couch.

Sam cleared his throat, “I’ll just run out and get the first aid kit.” You looked over at him, and he held your gaze for only a moment, before ducking his head and leaving the room.

“Uh, can I talk to you for a moment?” Dean grabbed your arm pulling you away from Gabriel.

“Seriously, what the hell? How do you know Gabriel? Do you know who, I mean, what he is?”

You nodded, and glanced back at your father as he laid bleeding on the couch. “Yes Dean, I’m aware of who and what he is. Now please, let me help him before he passes out from blood loss.”

Sam rushed back inside, and knelt down next to Gabriel, and you rushed to his side. 

“Alright, this is going to hurt a little,” Sam carefully removed your makeshift bandage.

“Ah, a little?” Gabriel winced, and leaned back on the couch gripping tightly to your hand.

Sam took notice. His brow fell right back into its furrow.

“How’d you know we were here?” Dean asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest as Sam continued cleaning and properly dressing the wound.

Gabriel explained that he felt the spell their witch had cast looking for him. You were realizing that there was a lot he wasn’t telling you.

You sat there in silence as the boys questioned your father, he tried to lie. They weren’t stupid enough to believe him.

You couldn’t hide your shock when Gabriel asked, “anyway, you guys don’t have any more of my grace laying around do you? Cause, uh, my tank’s a little low.”

“Why did they have your grace?” You asked, feeling your brow furrow as you shot accusing glares at the boys. 

Sam looked at his feet, and Dean ignored your question. 

“Whatever we didn’t use on you, we used to open up a rift.”

You got to your feet and walked to the other side of the room. You didn’t understand what was happening, and your father gave you a sad smile. And tried to wink at you, but failed completely at looking not worried.

Sam noticed again, and his head twitched back and forth taking in the exchange between the two of you with hooded, angry looking eyes. 

“Cool. Super dupes. Well, uh in that case gentlemen I must bid you a fond fare..” he grunted in pain as he tried to climb to his feet, failing and falling back onto the couch with a groan.

You rushed back to his side, taking his hand again.

“You’re not going anywhere, not for a while anyway.” You whispered, and he nodded.

“Maybe after a little siesta then.” He muttered and then proceeded to pass out completely.

You held onto him, and brushed his hair out of his eyes and off his face softly.

“Is he going to be okay?” You whispered, not daring to meet the eyes of the men standing behind you in confused and angry silence.

“He will be fine,” Dean snapped at her. “Care to explain how and why you’re with him?”

You continued sweeping your fingers through his hair, his color was terrible and his breathing wasn’t much better. His hand still tightly gripped yours by your fingers. 

“It’s a long story,” your voice caught and you found yourself crying quietly, your head rested on your hands and whispering, “I’m sorry, please be okay. I’m sorry.”

You could hear the boys talking behind you, but you weren’t paying any attention as you looked at your father’s face through your tears. 

His grace was empty, you could feel it. And it infuriated you that the brothers had anything to do with it. 

You put your free hand over his wound. You had used your grace to heal yourself more times than you could count, but you’d never tried to use it on anyone else. 

You closed your eyes and prayed to whoever was listening. “Please,” you felt warmth seep from your fingers, and although you knew you weren’t strong enough to heal him completely, his breathing evened out and the color returned to his skin. 

You breathed a sigh of relief and thanks. 

And then you released his hand and turned on the boys. “You kept his grace?” You hissed. 

“He could have died! What the hell made you think it was okay to keep it from him?” 

“First of all,” Dean pointed a finger at you. “No. Just...no. You don’t get to make a judgment on this. You weren’t there.”

You got to your feet and stood in front of them, your whole body was shaking. 

“And second,” he continued his face softening, “Come here.”

He held his arms open and you ran into them and sobbed as he held you on your feet. 

“I’m covered in his blood.” You choked on the words trying to get them out. 

“Did you get here in your jeep? Where are your keys?” Sam whispered. 

You looked up, confused for a moment. “I... I don’t know.”

He nodded, “stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Dean held you tightly to his chest and kissed the top of your head. “It’s going to be okay kid.” He whispered. 

“He’s strong and persistent. Annoyingly so.” You chuckled a little at that and pulled back a bit looking down at your father.

“That is the truth.” You responded. 

“I’m sorry, I’m a wreck.” You stepped back from him, hoping that he too wasn’t covered in Gabriel’s blood. 

“Do you want to talk about it? Because you know we need to.” You saw the worry in his eyes, you took a breath to say something but you heard the key in the door and shook your head. 

“Not now. Thank you though.” 

Sam came back in carrying your backpack. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up. We’ll keep an eye on him.”

He didn’t meet your eyes. He was angry, you could feel it. “Thank you Sam.”

He didn’t say anything, he just nodded and turned his back on you. 

You looked at Dean with pleading eyes, but he just lifted his hands as if to say “not my problem.” You sighed and went into the bathroom. 

You cried the entire time you showered. This was turning into an annoying habit. 

You took your blood covered clothes and shoved them into a dry cleaning bag, before placing them in the trash. 

“I really liked that T-shirt,” you mumbled with a frown, suddenly feeling quite angry at your father for almost bleeding to death all over you. 

You slipped into clean clothes, and pulled your long damp hair up out of your face. 

As you reached for the door knob, you took a deep breath. This was... not going to be pleasant. 

You could not have been more correct. You opened the door to see both men standing in the middle of the room, their arms folded over their chests and equally angry looking frowns on their faces. 

You glanced over at your father, and walked to his side to lay a hand on his forehead. No signs of a fever, and his breathing had finally normalized. You took a moment to appreciate he was still alive, before turning to face to music. 

“How long?” Dean asked, Sam stayed quiet for now. 

You sat on the end of the couch and laid a hand on Gabriel’s leg. “How long what?”

Dean ran a hand over his face and grunted in frustration. “How long has he been with you?”

You swallowed, and found no reason to lie. “Since he left Sam and Cas after you saved him from Asmodeus. Thank you for that, by the way.”

Sam turned on you, fire in his eyes. “We begged him for his help. And he left us... to go to you?”

You frowned, “you begged him for help? With what? Is this about Lucifer?”

Sam let out a crazed laugh, “so he told YOU, but still refuses to help us. Fantastic. This is such a joke.” He turned and headed toward the door. 

“Sam!” Dean called, “where are you going?”

“I need some air!” He yelled as he slammed the door.

You went to follow him, and Dean grabbed your hand. “Let him go champ.”

“Not a chance,” you scoffed, yanking your hand free and following Sam out the door. 

You took two steps and looked up and down the hallway in time to see him exit out a door at the end of the hall. 

“Oh hell no you don’t,” you muttered jogging down the hall and throwing the door open. 

“Sam!” You shouted at his back and he stopped, flexing both of his hands into fists. 

“You don’t understand as much as you think you do.” You yelled at him. “It’s not Gabriel’s fault,” you paused at that. 

“Well not completely anyway.” Truth be told it pretty much was Gabriel’s fault, but as usual, you felt the need to protect him. 

Sam turned slowly. “You don’t understand either you know.” He growled, his voice angry and unforgiving. 

You chuckled at that. “Oh that’s the difference here. I KNOW I don’t understand everything that’s happening. But you don’t get to walk away from me Sam. Not again.”

Your voice cracks and you look down at your feet. 

“How long have you been with him?” He asked moving slightly closer, but his posture saying a great deal about the distance he wanted to leave. 

“I told you that already.”

“That’s not what I mean. How long have you been TOGETHER?” He motioned back and forth between you. 

Your brow furrowed and then you realized what he was asking. “What? No Sam, it’s not like that!” You waved your hands at him. 

He shook his head, “it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything, I just wanted to know if it was going on when we...” he trailed off again, but made the same motion as moments ago. 

“Sam,” you stepped towards him and reached out, placing your hands on his biceps, he kept his arms folded tightly over his chest. 

“Please, you have to believe me. Gabriel is not a romantic entanglement. In ANY way.” You were trying not to smile, he was obviously jealous, but you had no intention of making him feel bad. “Please can we just sit and talk for a few minutes?”

He nodded, and led you to a nearby park bench. This neighborhood was a bit sketchy, but both of you were vary capable of taking care of yourselves. 

“I’ve known Gabriel my whole life.” You said, right as you sat down. 

He looked at you in surprise. 

“He’s my family Sam, the only real family I have.”

Sam’s brow furrowed, “but we are your family. Dean and I, and Cas. you know that right?”

“Oh Sam, this is so different than that. Unfortunately I can’t be more specific.”

“Why not.”

“Because, he asked me not to.”

“Gabriel?”

“Yes Sam. It’s not safe for you to have too much information.”

He got to his feet at that, his anger surged. “You don’t get to decide what’s safe for me, I do. He can’t just leave us like he did, make you carry his injured ass to us for help and then tell you that it’s not “safe”.” He used air quotes. 

“I’m never safe, this doesn’t change anything.” He scowled at you. 

“I’m not talking about you Sam!” You shouted back. “You are infuriating!”

You got to your feet and put a finger in his chest. “It’s not safe for ME you idiot! If the wrong people found out...”

He moved forward and put his hands on your cheeks, raising your chin too look in your eyes. “Found out what? Please, please tell me. If this is something that puts you in danger, I need to know.”

You couldn’t help it. You were tired of being alone. And try as you might, you knew you needed to tell him. You WANTED to tell him.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m serious Sam. Not even Dean. My life literally depends on this staying a secret. Especially if Lucifer is back in the picture.” 

His thumbs rubbed your cheeks softly and he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips that was so light, you wondered if he even touched you. 

“I promise you can trust me. I would NEVER do anything to put you in danger. You know that.”

And you did, it was why you left him in the first place. 

“He’s my father Sam. Gabriel is my father.”

For a moment he looked at you like you were speaking another language. His hands fell from your face, and he took a step back. 

“Sam?” The look he gave you was unexpected. He looked almost frightened. 

“But if he’s... then you’re.. that means you are a..”

You nodded, praying you hadn’t just ruined everything with someone you thought you might love. “Yes Sam. I’m a nephilim.”


End file.
